It’s an Ill Wind That…

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For a variety of reasons, we had to open a new account at our local bank. No big deal, right?

Ah, you forgot about the coronavirus.

It’s a small local bank. Like banks everywhere, it is closed to everything except online and drive-through. To open a new account, we had to make a special appointment to fill out the forms, supply verified documentation of this and that, sign incomprehensible documents and answer incomprehensible questions, the whole nine yards.

Because I am a slip of a lad of seventy-two and Darleen a nubile girl of sixty-nine, the government, our government, the grasping, conniving, pompous, callous, unfeeling, thoughtless, and conspicuously undiplomatic government, has designated us as senior citizens (ha! I’ll dance on the government’s grave) and consequently at high-risk for coronavirus.

Since medical face masks are at a premium nowadays, and because we only happen to have a few left over from a painting project a year or so ago, and because Darleen insists on doing the shopping, I save the masks for her and when I absolutely, positively must leave the house, I just use a wild-rag (think bandana, for those of you unaccustomed to Western/cowboy life).

It was while I was getting ready to drive to the bank that it suddenly hit me. Thanks to the coronavirus and all its disruption, I was about to live out a fantasy I’ve had ever since I saw Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid back in 1969, namely to walk into a bank with a bandana over my face. I toyed with the idea of strapping on a six-gun, but I decided not to push my luck.

Life is great!

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19 thoughts on “It’s an Ill Wind That…”

  1. Love it!!! Wait till you have to work as an essential person. I could write a book about my adventures working in the public sector.
    I love your stories. Please keep ’em rolling. I need a good laugh!!! Thanks & have a great weekend!!!

  2. There’s been numerous national news stories interviewing “African-Americans” expressing their fear of wearing masks, bandannas, etc in stores, etc thinking they might be accused of robbery or worse being shot. Pretty sad they feel that way. However at a bank in California open carry dressed like that or even not wearing a mask not a good idea.

    I just saw Bronco Billy (1980) again recently and am reminded of the scene were Eastwood dressed in his full western duds with six shooters is at a bank when would be robbers come in and he takes care of them. That was filmed at a real bank in Meridian, Idaho. Open carry is more common in Idaho these days. Even so probably not a good idea.

    For some reason I am thinking of a new movie to be called “
    If Butch and Sundance Survived Bolivia And Made It To Being Senior Citizens” starring those two guys from Simon And Simon. I would pay to see that! 😉

  3. You brought laughter to our house today. Thank you! You have an awesome sense of humor and we love it.

    Please tell me the photo was taken before you did your banking and not after…..;)

    I’m not altogether sure anyone as muscular as you are could be considered a slip of a lad. As a teen, I never knew which I liked better, you sans shirt with your muscular chest, or Tom Selleck with his “rug”. Speaking of Old Tom, I’ve been rewatching Magnum P.I. and have watched Darleen in a few episodes. She’s a wonderful girl.

    Thank you for the giggles and loud guffaws today.

  4. …hihihi das hätte ich gern sehen wollen, aber zum Glück, lieb und brav zur Bank gefahren. Bitte gebt auf euch acht. Meine Eltern sind genau in dem selben Alter und ich habe Angst um sie. Bleibt gesund und trotz Corona wünsche ich ein gesegnetes Osterfest. Meine Gebete sind mit euch. Viele Grüße Manuela

  5. Thank you Jameson, for the first real laugh out loud in a week or two.

    Much appreciated / keep ’em coming!

  6. Riding in on horseback would have clinched it! Nice to know life is going on somewhat normally. Thanks for this. 😊

  7. Thanks to the Covid-19 eveything has gotten harder. Even getting tags for your car or camping stickers!!

  8. I delivered meals to shut-in seniors last week and had to wear a mask, and it was such an odd feeling, even knowing it was necessary, riding around town with a mask over my face and going to people’s doors like that.

    I had this nearly irrepressible urge to say “Stand and deliver!” every single time the people would answer their doors. Luckily I suppressed it….

    While I am a lover of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (okay maybe more so Newman and Redford), but I was able to finally play out the fantasy of my 8-year-old, little girl dreams: Alias Smith and Jones.

    As it was always considered a small-screen knock-off of Butch and Sundance, I guess we are are still ridin’ the same range.

    For the record, I left my dynamite at home. (Shameless Alias Smith and Jones AND Butch and Sundance reference. See how that works?)

    Clementine

  9. That was absolutely hilarious!! Thank you so much for
    your sense of humor !! I needed it!

  10. Thank you for sharing that with us Jameson! I needed something to cheer me up. I remember the first time I walked into a bank wearing a medical mask a few years ago because I was sick. I thought sure they’d think I was there to rob the place even though it was the same bank I been dealing with for 25 years now.

  11. Come to Texas, Jameson, and you can strap on that six-gun with your wild-rag! Thanks for the laugh!😁

  12. Gibt es bei Euch Vorschriften, in welchen Gebäuden Privatpersonen Waffen (offen oder verdeckt) tragen dürfen und in welchen Gebäuden nicht ? (Zum Beispiel: in Kirchen, Banken, Einkaufszentren, Verwaltungsgebäude, Polizeistationen etc. )
    Viele Grüße und bleibt gesund.
    Manuela

  13. Welcome to the “New Normal.” There is nothing “normal” about what we are going through and I wish we had a timeline for when this will end. However, it’s good to maintain a sense of humor about our current situation and share laughs when we can. Love the new photo!

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